


This Is Going To Be Way Easier Than I Thought

by LostInMyThoughts



Series: Clexa Week 2017 [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Clexa Week 2017, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Parent Clarke, clexa baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInMyThoughts/pseuds/LostInMyThoughts
Summary: Clexa Week 2017 Day 4!Fake/Pretend Relationship.Clarke's mom is worried about her after dreaming that she is struggling. So to convince her that she is doing ok she tells her that she is in a relationship with her best friend Lexa and she has been helping her take care of her son. Lexa knows she is going to regret agreeing to Clarke's charade.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Alright it's a little past midnight where I live on the east coast of the U.S. but....we can pretend that I live on the west coast for the night and that it is technically still day 4 :) 
> 
> So here is Day 4 of Clexa Week 2017: Fake Dating. 
> 
> I struggled a little to come up with something for this one but once I figured it out I couldn't stop thinking about it so this one is going to be a multi chap maybe one or two more. We will see how it goes.
> 
> Any way the usual... if you like it let me know, if you don't let me know. And check out the first three days if you haven't already! I think my favorite so far is day 3.
> 
> And one last note because I am who I am...please forgive all grammar and spelling errors. 
> 
> Cheers and thanks for reading! Can't wait to read what everyone else came up with! :)

“Are you out of your mind?” Lexa asked the blonde as she spoon fed the little boy some type of mashed vegetable while he sat in his highchair. Clarke had invited her over earlier that day saying she needed to talk to her about something and this...this was the last thing she had ever expected. “There is no way we will get away with it Clarke. Your mom is going to see right through it.”

“She won’t.” Clarke shook her head glancing towards Lexa before moving her attention back to her son. “People say all the time that we could pass as a couple! And you’re so good with Jake! He loves you.” She explained wiping the baby’s mouth before giving him another spoonful of what looked like yellowish white mush.

“He’s 10 months old Clarke, he doesn’t understand love. He just likes the funny faces I make.”

“No way, he loves you I can tell.” Clarke defends. “You love Lexa don’t you baby boy.” She asks the baby who lets out a small giggle and then starts babbling as if he and his mama were having a full on conversation. “See he said he loves you and wants you to be his mama for the month.” Clarke translated shrugging like it couldn’t have been anything else.

“For the month?” Lexa squeals. “I can’t do it Clarke. Ask Bellamy instead.”

“Ew...gross... no, I don’t want to pretend to love Bellamy. You’re way prettier than him.” Clarke smiled. “Plus I may or may not have already told her it was you.” Clarke spits out quickly, avoiding Lexa’s glare.

“Are you fucking kidding me Clarke!” Lexa groaned rolling her eyes at the glare she was now getting for cursing in front of the baby. “Sorry.”

“And no I’m not kidding you.” Clarke confessed, throwing out the now empty container of baby food and dropping a small pile of the cereal puffs that Jake likes on the tray of his highchair. “She called me yesterday saying she had some dream that I was struggling on my own and it’s been bugging her so much that she was playing around with the idea of moving out here. I convinced her to just come and visit to see that we were doing fine by saying I that was dating someone who was great with him.” she explained pointing towards the baby. “Then she of course asked who and you were the first person that popped into my head.”

“Clarke.” Lexa breathed out, but could already feel herself caving into her best friend. Because she always caved in when it came to Clarke.

“Please.” Clarke pouted. “I promise I will make it up to you somehow.” Before Lexa could say anything Jake let out a high pitched scream causing both women to turn back towards him. His hand outstretched to the container with his cereal snacks. “Excuuuse you.” Clarke sang out playfully swiping the little boy’s hand away only to bring about another screech as he reached out for the snack again. Lexa leaned over and dropped a few more pieces of the snack onto his tray and chuckled when he grinned at her shoving two of them into his mouth along with most of his hand. “See that you’re a natural.” Clarke commented running her hand over the boys wispy blonde hair.

“Fine,” Lexa sighs giving in. “I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend for as long as your mom is here.” Clarke jumped up out of her chair and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck who returned the embrace, her body relaxing into Clarke. Clarke always was the best hugger at least in Lexa’s opinion.

“You are seriously the best friend anyone could have asked for.” Clarke whispers against Lexa’s neck, kissing her cheek before letting her go and taking a step back. “My mom will be here next week so you might want to start bringing some of your stuff over soon.” Clarke mumbles, quickly moving back to the little boy and cleaning him up a little before picking him up out of the highchair.

“Bring my stuff over?” Lexa whined resting her elbows against the counter and dropping her head into her palms. “I already regret this.” She mumbled into her hands.

“It will be fun!” The blonde laughed. “I’m going to give him a quick bath and then put him down. You wanna stay and order pizza and watch a movie?”

“Ya, I’ll order the pizza…” Grabbing her phone from her back pocket she scrolls through her contacts to find the number of the pizza place they always ordered from. “The usual?” she calls to Clarke who has already started up the stairs with Jake.

“Yes please!” Clarke yells over her shoulder disappearing from Lexa’s view altogether.

 

~*~

 

A week later Lexa finds herself and much of her belongings sitting in Clarke’s apartment waiting for Abby to arrive. Clarke had been called into work earlier that day expecting to be back before her mother arrived but, the chances of that happening continue to go down as the minutes pass. Lexa holds Jake on her hip as she gets up to see if Clarke has texted her any update but her phone shows no messages. She lets out a deep sigh and the baby in her arms giggles making her smile.

“You’re mama is lucky she is who she is.” She coo’s to Jake, tapping her finger to his nose. She was growing more and more nervous for his grandmother's arrival. She had met Abby a few times in the past but never spent more than a couple hours with the woman and never without Clarke or the boyfriend Clarke had at the time. And definitely never as Clarke’s “girlfriend”. 

When she hears a knock on the door she can feel her heart speed up. She adjusts Jake so he is sitting up higher against her chest and walks to the door. She takes a final breath and opens the door plastering a smile on her face. “Mrs Griffin, how are you?” She greets the older women, opening the door and moving aside to let her into the apartment.

“Lexa,” Clarke’s mom smiles back. “Abby is just fine sweetie.” Lexa nods closing the door and Abby brings her hand up to rub the little boys back. “How’s my favorite little guy.” Jake instantly folds into Lexa, hiding his face into her neck and she can’t help the big smile that comes across her face. Okay maybe she can admit that Jake loves her.

“Tired,” Lexa laughs bouncing the little boy slightly and rubbing her thumb against his chubby little cheek. “Jakey say hi to...grandma?” Lexa questions looking back up not sure what exactly Abby had him to call her. She probably should have asked Clarke that beforehand. Abby nods and reaches out for the little boy as Lexa hands him off. He whines for a second or so but relaxes into Abby’s embrace soon enough. Lexa smiles and follows Abby as she heads into the living room. “Clarke got called into the hospital earlier today but hopefully she won’t be too much longer.” Lexa explained, picking up the few toys that she and Jake were playing with earlier. “Me and Jakey have just been hanging out building things.” She beamed, handing Jake one of the blue blocks. She had watched Jake on several occasions for Clarke so she was more than comfortable with his routine, which she supposed was just another reason that Clarke had chosen her for the role.

“No worries, Don’t tell Clarke but I’m really only here for this guy anyway.” Abby winked bouncing the little boy in her lap but keeping her eyes focused on Lexa whose gaze kept watch on the little boy.

“You’re secret is safe with me,” Lexa chuckled looking up at Abby who was still watching her. She blushed slightly under the other woman’s stare but couldn’t explain why. “Can I get you something to drink or something to eat?” Lexa offered rubbing her sweaty palms against her jeans nervously.

“No, I’m okay.” Abby smiled politely. “So…” She started and Lexa gulped knowing what was coming. “You and Clarke huh?” She asked.

“Mhmm,” Lexa nodded, moving her gaze back to the little boy sitting in Abby’s lap.

“When did this happen?” Abby inquired in the way most mothers would. Luckily for Lexa, she and Clarke had expected her mother to ask questions like this and had come up with an entire backstory for themselves. Only Lexa had expected Clarke to not only be here with her but also do most of the answering.  

“Um, about four months ago.” Lexa swallowed, jumping a little when she hears the front door swing open and then slam shut. “Oh thank god.” she mumbled to herself turning to see Clarke rushing in.

“I’m so sorry.” She spoke quickly, “I didn’t want to be there that long.”

“No worries.” Lexa smiled standing up turning towards Clarke and away from Abby’s inquisition. She walked over to Clarke with wide eyes wrapping her arms around her wordlessly thanking her for unknowingly bailing her out of answering all her mom’s questions alone.

“I really tried to get here before her,” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear. “I’m gonna kiss you now” She whispered again and Lexa nodded. Clarke was quick to unwrap her arms from Lexa and bring her palms up to her cheeks before leaning in and leaving a quick chaste kiss against Lexa’s lips. Although it was quick, Lexa would have sworn that it all happened in slow motion. Her eyes fluttering shut as she leaned into Clarke’s touch. The other girls thumbs moving softly against her skin. “ _ Hm _ .” She heard Clarke mumble under her breath and when she looked back up to Clarke she noticed the slight blush that formed on her cheeks. She felt her own cheeks heat up for the second time that day and before she knew it Clarke had moved past her further into the room.

“Hi Clarke,” The blonde’s mother smiled standing up with Jake in her arms. The boy already reaching out towards his mom with a big smile on his face. Clarke walked over closing the distance between them and kissed her mom’s cheek.

“Hi mom.” She pulled back lifting her hands to swipe the little boy from his grandma. “Hi baby, I missed you today.” Clarke spoke softly leaving a bunch of kisses over the boy’s face as he tried to push her away. “How was he today Lex?” She asked turning back towards Lexa who hadn’t moved from her previous spot other to turn around and face them.

“Fine, ya, he was great. Fought a nap earlier but I got him down eventually.” Lexa explained. “He is probably about ready for another one.”

As if on cue Jake let a big yawn escape as he started playing with Clarke’s hair. One of the little tells the boy had that gave away the fact that he was sleepy. “I’ll go put him down real quick.” Clarke announced ready to head upstairs but Lexa stopped her and reached out for the little boy who more than happily switched into her arms.

“I’ve got him. You catch up with your mom.”

“Are you sure babe? You’ve had him all day.” Clarke asked tickling the little boys foot making him giggle. Lexa tensed slightly at the nickname but relaxed and stepped into the role herself.

“I’m sure love,” she smiled leaning in to kiss Clarke’s temple before turning towards the stairs and taking the baby up. She could feel Clarke’s gaze on her back until she turned the corner to walk into the nursery. She could just barely hear Clarke and her mom talking from downstairs and felt a little guilty for leaving Clarke alone to answer the rest of her mom’s questions but she also knew that Clarke could handle herself.

The rest of the night seemed to go by smoothly as both Lexa and Clarke fell into their roles. Abby had got Jake from his nap and they all had a nice dinner talking about Clarke’s day at the hospital, Abby’s travel and even the towers the Lexa and Jake built that day. There was no more kissing but each of them threw out subtle little touches when they felt they were called for or when they noticed Abby watching them. 

“This is going to be way easier than I thought it would be.” Clarke admits when Abby excuses herself to use the restroom. After Clarke put Jake down for the night, the three of them had started watching a movie in the living room with Clarke snuggled up to Lexa on one couch and Abby laying back in the chair next to them. 

“I hope so,” Lexa hummed moving herself so that her head was lying in Clarke’s lap. Something that was a common occurrence between the two. ”Did she seem convinced when she was asking about us when you got home?” Lexa questioned, closing her eyes as Clarke started running her fingers through her hair.

“Yeah, she said you have heart eyes for my son.” Clarke chuckled and Lexa turned up to face her.

“Can, you blame me?” She smiled and Clarke’s eyes met her’s.

“Not even a little bit.” Clarke admitted. 

“Alright ladies, It’s been a long travel day for me so I think I’m going to head to bed.” Abby yawned as she walked back over to them.

“Okay mom, I washed the sheets and made the bed for you yesterday but let me know if you need anything.”

“I should be fine. Night honey.” Abby smiled leaning down and kissing Clarke’s forehead. “Night Lexa.” She added before turning and heading to the guest bedroom. Clarke yawned her day catching up to her as well.

“You can go to bed, I’ll just sleep on the couch.” Lexa offered and Clarke looked at her with furrowed brows.

“Lexa, you can’t sleep on my couch for the next few weeks. You’re sleeping with me.” She chuckled tapping Lexa’s head to signal her to get up. “Besides what if my mom comes back out here and sees you on the couch?” She reasons and Lexa sighs even though she knows that Clarke is right.

“Did you really think I was going to make you sleep on the couch the whole time?” Clarke asked standing up and heading to her own room before stopping and waiting for Lexa to join her.

“I guess I didn’t really think about it until now.” Lexa admitted following Clarke into the bedroom.

“Well I’ll keep Jakey’s monitor down low so that it doesn’t wake you up if he wakes up.” Clarke promised grabbing a large tee shirt out of her dresser and heading into her bedroom.

“I’m not worried about that Clarke,” Lexa offered grabbing some of her own clothes to throw on while Clarke was in the bathroom. 

Once she was dressed in a loose fitting tank top and a pair of boxer shorts that she always slept in she slipped into Clarke’s bed and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. Clarke’s sheets smelt just like Clarke with a strong scent of vanilla and just a little hint of something that reminded Lexa of fall. Cinnamon maybe. She closed her eyes and relaxed into the bed but when she opened her eyes again her entire body stiffened. Clarke had come out of the bathroom in just an old thin grey tee shirt from the college the both had attended. Not only that, but the shirt had ridden up above her hips, showing off the light blue underwear she had on as she unclasped the chain she always wore with her father’s wedding band on it. She clenched her jaw as she turned away and reminded herself that she could do this. She could do this for Clarke. She could pretend to be in love with her. She could  _ pretend _ to pretend to be in love with her. Because she has known for a quite a long time that she was actually, most definitely, irrevocably, in love with her already. 


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! Sorry this is later then I intended. I have been working some extra hours and my schedule is all messed up.
> 
> Anyway here is part two...there will be a part three and possibly a part four. We will see what I can do with three first.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and as always please forgive me for grammar and spelling errors!

About a week into Abby's stay the younger women seemed to fall into their charade easily.  All things were going to plan and Abby seemed to be none the wiser of what was going on around her. Lexa smiled up at the older woman as she walked into the kitchen where Lexa already had a pot of coffee on.

“Good morning Abby,” Lexa smiled turning around and pulling another mug out of the cabinet knowing that Clarke’s mother would want a cup as well. “Coffee should be done in another minute.”

“Morning and sounds great. I don’t know what we would do without it every morning.” Abby smiled taking a seat at the counter opposite of where Lexa was standing waiting for the coffee. 

“Tell me about it, I don’t think I would get through a page nevermind two chapters worth of writing if I didn’t have coffee.” Abby chuckled as Lexa joked. Though in all honesty Lexa’s words held more weight that she’d care to admit. Caffeine was most certainly her drug of choice. Clarke has told her on numerous occasions that she has a caffeine addiction.

“Is Clarke still sleeping?” Abby asked, seeming surprised that her daughter wasn’t up yet. Lexa shakes her head as she grabs the now finished coffee pot. 

“No, she is upstairs getting Jake dressed and ready for the day.” She explains, filling each of their mugs up as well as a travel mug for Clarke to take to work. Clarke had taken the previous week off from the hospital to spend with her mom, other than the day that Abby arrived when she was called in on an emergency.

“Oh, is she taking Jake to work with her?” Abby asks, accepting the mug that Lexa hands her. “Thank you.”

“I believe she is yes.” Lexa nodded just as Clarke came into the kitchen carrying Jake in one arm and his bag in the other.

“Good morning.” She smiled, handing the baby off to her mother and placing his diaper bag onto the counter. Lexa turned to her handing her the coffee she had made.

“A little bit of cream and way too much sugar.” Lexa smiled “Just the way you like it.”

“You’re seriously the best.” Clarke practically moaned, trading the mug now in her hand for a small kiss on Lexa’s cheek. Lexa’s chest warmed at how simple the exchange seemed to be.

“Why don’t you leave Jake here with us?” Abby offers, pulling the baby’s shirt that had ridden up over his belly back down.

“It’s okay, he does really well in the daycare at the hospital and I actually get to spend a good amount of time with him there.” Clarke shrugs placing her coffee on the counter. “Plus I know Lexa has a lot of work she has to get done today so…”

“I do.” Lexa admits, taking a long sip from her coffee. “I actually need to stop by my publisher's office for a bit today too.”

“Well, leave him with me. I need to get in as much grammy time as I can.” Abby insists, turning the little boy in her arms so that he is facing her and leaving several kisses below his chin. 

“I don’t know mom...it could be a long day and--” Clarke starts hesitantly but Abby quickly stops her.

“Clarke, I am his grandmother and I raised you and you came out mostly fine.” She winked towards Lexa who failed to hold back a chuckle. Clarke turns toward the brunette lightly slapping her arm for her betrayal.

“If you’re sure, I’ll leave him here with you then.” Clarke smiles unsurely, stepping back towards her mother and the little boy in her lap. “You be a good boy.” She coos softly to the baby running her thumb over his cheek before leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “You pretty much know where everything is now, but if you have any questions or need anything at all please call me.”

“We’ll be fine.” Her mother waves her off as Clarke moves around back to the other side of the counter. She places her hand over Lexa’s lower back.

“I guess I will see you all later then. Good luck with your meeting today?” Clarke asks, her voice rising at the end in question as if she really isn’t sure it’s something she needed to do.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Lexa chuckled.

“Telling?” Clarke asks again, unsure. 

“I’ll take it.” Lexa nods, laughing under her breath until Clarke leans in to kiss her. She feels Clarke’s warm hand still resting on her back, even pushing her just slightly towards her own body. Her lips are soft and even though the kiss is quick she can taste the minty toothpaste Clarke must have used to brush her teeth a little while earlier. She feels her heartbeat quicken and hope Clarke isn’t close enough to feel it.  When Clarke moves away from her Lexa immediately feels the loss of warmth that came with her hand. She reminds herself that it’s all a show and that she needs to reel herself in. She smiles at Clarke who winks back before she turns to grab her coffee off the counter.

“Have a good day.” Lexa offers as Clarke moves towards the little boy and gives him another sweet little kiss.

“You too, and Mom really please call me if you need anything. I’ll check in when I can.” Clarke points to her mom before she moves to grab her bag and the keys on a table by the door. “Okay, love you all!” Clarke yells behind her shoulder as she rushes out the door. 

Both Lexa and Abby let out long breaths and Lexa feels her body relax a little. The past week for the most part had been easy, but some of Clarke’s subtle touches were starting to become a little too much for Lexa. She can still feel Clarkes hand on her lower back when Abby starts to speak.

“Is she always that hesitant leaving him with someone?” The older woman asks, bouncing the baby who is now fussing in her lap.  Lexa chuckles and nods before reaching over to the bag that Clarke had packed for Jake and pulling out one of his cereal bar snacks.

“She is. The first time she left him with me, I think she called me every fifteen minutes until I threatened to turn my phone of and insisted that we were fine.” She unwraps that bar and hands it over to Jake who happily takes it and settles once again in Abby’s lap.

“She’ll get over that eventually. I was the same way with her when she was a baby.” Abby laughs. Lexa smiles and watches as Jake sucks on the cereal bar more than he actually chews it. She takes another sip of her coffee and glances down at her watch realizing that she needs to get going or she was going to be late to her meeting with her publisher.

“I’ve actually go to get going too.” Lexa admits, a look of apology running across her face. She turns to the cabinet behind her and pulls out her favorite travel mug. A mug that she had brought over with some of her other stuff to make it look more like she lived there with Clarke. She dumps the rest of her coffee into the travel mug and then offers Abby a refill before she tops her own off. “I’m sure that Clarke will call you throughout the day,” Lexa smirks, matter of factly. “But If you need anything call me first.” She grabbed a pen and notepad from one of the drawers and quickly jotted down her number for the older woman to have in case she needed it. “No need to worry Clarke. If she is with a patient and can’t answer right away just knowing that you called could send her into a world of anxiety until she gets the chance to call you back. Trust me I learned that lesson.” Lexa explains laughing. Abby smiles up at Lexa who can feel herself starting to blush again before she quickly turns away to grab her coffee and make her way around the counter to her things.

“I’m sure it will all be fine.” Abby insists again standing to put Jake in his highchair. Lexa nods and makes her way to the door only to have Abby follow her. “Hey Lexa.” She calls out and Lexa turns to face her again. “Thank you. For being here and helping them. It’s easy to see how much you love them both.” Lexa feels her entire body freeze. Was she that good at acting or was she that obvious in her feelings towards the woman’s daughter? She take a second to think about how she should respond but ultimately her heart takes over and she lets those true feelings out.

“They make it really easy to love them.” She admits softly, making Abby smile even more.

“They do don’t they.” Abby agrees.

“I should only be a few hours.” Lexa says before she moves out the door, letting Abby shut it behind her. 

 

~*~

 

After her meeting and a few hours of writing at her own apartment Lexa heads back to Clarke’s house. She is almost arrived back when her phone starts ringing.

“Hey Abby, everything okay?” She asks. Before Abby even has the chance to say anything. She can hear Jake crying in the background.

“Yeah,” Abby sighs. “Just having some trouble getting him to nap. I was hoping you’d have some helpful tricks?” She asked.

“I’m actually right down the street and I do have a secret weapon when it comes to sleep.” Lexa laughs.

“Oh good, we’ve been at this for a good half hour. You’d think he’s cry himself to sleep by now!” Abby exclaims.

“Stubborn just like his mom.” Lexa laughs over the phone. “I’m pulling up now I’ll be right in.”

“Okay see you in a minute.” Abby replies before ending the call. 

When Lexa gets inside the house the first thing she hears is Jake’s wailing. She puts her bag and keys down and digs for her phone that she had just dropped into the bag on her way in. Making her way into Jake’s room she sees Abby leaning over his crib rubbing his back and trying to get him to lay down.

“I tried reading to him, I tried walking around with him, we sat in his rocking chair.” Abby explained. “He is just not having it.” They both look back to the boy who is standing in his crib holding on to it’s side, tears streaming down his face. Lexa frowns and picks him up out of the crib. “Hopefully you have more luck than I did.” Abby frowns running her hand soothingly up and down the little boys back. 

“Thanks,” Lexa laughs and Abby excuses herself from the room. “Alright kiddo,” Lexa starts pulling her phone out of her pocket and opening up her itunes. “Let’s see,” Lexa says to herself swaying slightly with the little boy in her arms. “Oh here we go, you like this one.” She clicks the song and puts the phone down on Jake’s changing table. She sways with him as the music starts and she quietly starts to sing along with the song.

_ “Baby I need you lovin’, Got to have all your lovin.”  _

She wipes away the tears that still roll down the boy’s cheeks as she try’s to get him to relax. 

_ “ _ _ Another day, 'nother night, I long to hold you tight 'cause I'm so lonely baby, I need your lovin”  _

She continues and Jake finally seems to start to calm down. She gently pushes his head down onto her shoulder as she continues to move about the room swaying and singing along to the music.

_ “Baby I need your lovin' got to have all you lovin' some say it's a sign of weakness for a man to beg, then weak I'd rather be If it means having you to keep ‘cause lately I've been losing sleep” _

Lexa looks down at the boy, who has now completely relaxed into her, fighting to keep his eyes open. She smiles and shakes her head. Her secret weapon. Thank goodness he has better taste in music then his mama does Lexa thinks to herself, still swaying about the room.

“ _ Baby I need your lovin, got to have all your lovin.” _

Before the song is over Jake is passed out in Lexa’s arms but she continues to move and sing along to the music. She turns her direction and jumps slightly when she see’s Abby standing in the doorway, her phone in hand as if she had just taken a picture or was getting ready to.

“You scared me.” Lexa whispers, moving to put Jake in his crib.

“That’s your secret weapon? To sing to him?” Abby beams and Lexa flushes in embarrassment at being caught.

“Not just singing, it has to be motown or jazz. It works everytime.” She smiles shyly.

“What does Clarke think about that?” Abby laughs knowing her daughter's taste in music and knowing that motown is not high on the list. 

“She doesn’t know. It’s our little secret” Lexa admits tilting her head towards Jake. “They have their own routines.” She points out as both women leave the nursery, Abby swiping the baby monitor on the way out. 

 

~*~

 

Later that night Lexa is unable to fall asleep and lies awake, restless in Clarke’s bed. Throughout the day Abby had shared with Lexa how happy it made her knowing that Clarke and Jake had her to help them out. But Abby’s words didn’t make Lexa feel good like she intended them to. Instead they made her feel more and more guilty about the lying and even worse they made her realize how badly she wished they weren’t lying. That this wasn’t just a show they were putting on for the older woman's stay.  A small sigh escapes her lips before she can stop it and she turns on to her back, staring up at the ceiling. It doesn’t take much more fidgeting before Clarke turns onto her own back and lets out a sigh to match the one Lexa let escape just minutes before. 

“Lexa...what’s wrong?” She questions turning her head to look towards Lexa lying next to her. “ I can hear your overworking brain from here.” Lexa avoids looking at the blonde and instead moves her hands to rub over her eyes. 

“I feel guilty. Lying to your mom.” Lexa confesses dropping her hands down onto the bed by her sides. “She keeps telling me how great I am for you and Jake and that I’m so good with Jake. That she’s glad you have me and feels better knowing that you aren’t alone.” She bursts out, finishing off with another frustrated sigh. Clarke laughs and turns her body so she is lying on her side facing Lexa. 

“Lex… That means that our plan is working the way we hoped. We wanted her to see that we were all good and being taken care of.”

“I know.” Lexa breathes, finally turning to look towards the blonde who was smiling. “What?” She asks not being able to stop her own grin from forming.

“She did send me an adorable picture of you holding Jake passed out in his nursery earlier.” She admits.

“I knew she took a picture.” Lexa laughed.

“I have to admit that you look pretty great with my son in your arms.” Clarke confess softly. Lexa silently thanks the darkness that covers the room because she knows it is concealing the blush on her cheeks.

“You’ve seen me hold him hundreds of times Clarke.”

“I know...I guess I just never really stopped to look and appreciate it.” Clarke whispers as she closes her eyes again.  Lexa feels her heart flutter at the other girl’s words and has the sudden urge to reach out and run her thumb over the blonde’s lips but quickly reminds herself that she can’t. A few moments of silence pass and Lexa thinks that Clarke must have fallen back asleep. However just as she closes her eyes to try and fall asleep she hears Clarke say her name.

“Lexa, you shouldn’t feel guilty about any of this. We may be exaggerating it all but Jake and I do have you. I couldn’t do this without all your help. It’s fun playing house with you,” she chuckles before growing serious again. “But, you have seriously been my rock for this last year and I couldn’t have done it without you. So thanks for doing this, and for being my best friend and practically a second mother to my son.” Clarke leans in a leaves a soft kiss against Lexa’s cheek before wrapping her fingers around her wrist and pulling Lexa’s arm around her waist. She scoots herself closer to Lexa and settles into her warm embrace. Lexa’s body quickly relaxes and curls itself around Clarke, tightening her grip around her waist.

“You’re wrong ya know?” Lexa whispers. “You’re stronger than you think and if you had to... you would be just fine on your own.” 

“Well, lucky I don’t have to be.” Clarke whispers back giving Lexa’s hand a soft squeeze. 

  
Lexa feels her body grow warm at the closeness of the blonde and wishes more than anything that this was a normal occurrence for them. That this was how they always fell asleep, together and in eachothers arms. She lays there long enough to hear Clarke’s breath even out to signal that she had fallen back asleep. Clarke was right when she said it would be easier than they thought to convince her mom. But in the past week Lexa has realized that hiding her true feelings for her best friend was definitely not going to be as easy as she had once thought.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! Please let me know what your thoughts and feelings are!
> 
> And as always you can find me on Tumblr at @writtenletterstoyou


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses as to why this took so long other than life and laziness. I apologize.
> 
> But here is part three. There will be one more part to follow. 
> 
> As always please excuse all mistakes and I hope you enjoy.

Clarke throws herself down on the couch with a heavy drawn out sigh and Lexa knows immediately that she is fishing for something, she just isn’t sure what or who from. Lexa turns to look toward the blonde as she lays back and throws her legs over Lexa’s lap. Just as she is about to speak up and ask Clarke what’s wrong, the girl lets out another exaggerated sigh.

“Everything alright sweetie?” Abby asks, looking up from the book in her hands and towards her daughter.

“Hmm?” Clarke asks innocently. Her eyes focused on the baby sitting on the floor in front of her playing with some of his toys.

“You just let out a giant sigh.” Abby laughed.

“I did?”

“You did.” Lexa adds and Clarke turns to face her with a quick smile before turning back towards the little boy who is now slowly crawling his way towards the couch and his momma.

“Oh, I guess I was just thinking.” Clarke starts, carefully reaching down to pick up Jake and sit him on her stomach. She runs her finger down his nose drawing out a small giggle from him and a smile from herself before she continues her thought. “Tonight would usually be date night. Octavia watches Jake so that Lexa and I can go out and have a night for just the two of us. But, we cancelled this time around to spend time with you while you’re here.”

“Oh girls, you really didn’t have to do that.” Abby points out.

“It’s really okay mom, I guess I just didn’t realize how much I look forward to that every few weeks that’s all.” Jake fidgets in her lap, losing his balance but Clarke’s hands are there quickly to catch and stabilize him.

“Oopsie!” She sings in what Lexa call’s her “Jake voice” before she gives him another smile. Lexa finds herself smiling at the interaction too.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You guys go out and have a nice night together. I’ll stay with Jakey.” Clarke hums in thought and then looks around Jake and towards Lexa who has now fully caught onto the scheme as well as the hint in Clarke’s eyes that ask her to just go along with it.

“I don’t know… What do you think babe? She asks her best friend with a wicked smile coming across her lips.  Lexa smiles and shakes her head. Clarke is good. She will give her that.

“It would be nice.” Lexa shrugs, “Nothing like having a drink with a pretty girl. Especially one that I call mine.” she winks and immediately feels a rush or warmth as she watches Clarke’s cheeks turn a not so subtle shade of red. They keep locked onto each other's gazes with Lexa’s own face blushing to match Clarke’s until Abby chuckles and breaks them out of their moment.

“Well then it’s settled. Go. Get ready and go have a nice night together. The older women insists. Clarke smiles and instantly jumps up from the couch with Jake tucked into her side. She walks the short distance to her mother and places a small kiss to the woman’s temple.

“Thanks Mom.”

“Of course.” The older woman smiles as she watches Clarke practically skip away.

“You gonna help momma pick a nice dress baby?” They hear Clarke say as she and Jake head up the stairs. The little boy answering with mumbled and babbled noises that sound close to words. Abby turns towards Lexa who is standing from the couch and gives her a wink.

“Thanks Abby.” Lexa laughs as she picks up the few glasses on the coffee table to bring to the kitchen.

When Lexa walks into Clarke’s room a few minutes later she sees Jake happily sitting on the floor with the corner of one of his books inside his mouth.

“What do you think baby, should momma wear the blue dress or the red one.” Clarke asks from her closet turned away from Jake and now Lexa who stands at the door. Jake pulls the book from his mouth and holds it out to Lexa as he speaks in rambled sounds. Lexa chuckles and quietly walks into the room, sitting on the floor next to Jake. “You’re totally right bud, the blue one does bring out my eyes. Good Cho-” Clarke stops and smiles when she turns to face Jake but is now met with Lexa as well. “Oh hey.”

“I agree with Jake, the blue one definitely brings out your eyes.” Lexa nods her head as the little boy climbs into her lap and takes the book back. “So where are we going for our date night?”

“Ugh, anywhere. I’m feeling stir-crazy. I need a night out that is both mom and baby free.” She laughs pulling the dress from the closet and shutting the door behind her. “I was thinking just dinner somewhere then some drinks. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds like a date.” Lexa smiles.

“Perfect, you mind watching him so I can shower real quick?” The blonde asks.

“Not at all but hurry because I want to shower too. I got a hot date that I gotta look good for tonight.”

“Oh please,” Clarke rolls her eyes. “Even if it were a real date and you show’d up in sweatpants and a tee shirt you would still like stunning.” Clarke admits before shutting the bathroom door. Breaking Lexa’s heart and making it race all in one sentence.

“If only it were a real date right pal.” She sighs to the little boy, opening the book in his hands to she could read it to him.

 

~*~

 

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Clarke practically moans as she takes another bite of her dinner. “This is seriously the best meal I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.” She finishes bringing her glass of wine up to her lips.

“You just love all food.” Lexa laughs taking a sip from her own glass of wine. The blonde across from her smiles and shrugs her shoulders while she nods in agreement.

“I do,” She happily agrees. “But this is on a whole other level!” She takes another fork full of the salmon on her plate and holds it out to Lexa. “Try it,” she insists and Lexa happily obliges leaning into the table and wrapping her lips around the fork. She lets out a small hum and closes her eyes in appreciation.

“Okay, that is way better than mine.” She confesses as she brings a fork full of pasta up to Clarke's now waiting lips.

“That’s really good too.”

They settle into a lull of silence for a few minutes each enjoying their own meals while stealing a few more bites of the others. Lexa smiles and can’t help but continuously notice how beautiful her best friend is and how the blue dress the she picked out really does bring out the blue in her eyes. She realizes that Clarke has noticed her staring when the girl sends her wink, causing Lexa to blush. She takes another quick sip from her wine to hide her embarrassment.

“I’m really glad we did this.” Lexa admits with a smile. “It’s been such a long time since I have been to a nice dinner.”

“What? Are you bring all your dates out to some crappy fast food restaurants?” Clarke teases.

“Please, “ Lexa scoffs. “I’m a great date! I just haven’t been on one in…” She stops to think back to when she actually was on a date last but couldn’t remember. “I can’t even remember to be honest.”

“Ugh, tell me about it. With Jake, and working at the hospital there is just no time to go on dates.

“But if you found the right someone I’m sure you could make time for them.”

“Yeah,” Clarke sighs. “I guess it’s more that I just don’t care to do it. I”m perfectly happy with where I am in my life right now. Plus I’ve got Jake and I’ve got you. So any date would have an awful lot to live up to.” Clarke gives Lexa another wink and she can’t help but wonder if Clarke is trying to flirt with her. “What about you? What’s your excuses?” Clarke questions, taking another sip of wine before grabbing the bottle that sat on their table and refilling both of their glasses.

“I mean definitely the time. I’m pushing really hard to finish the first draft to this book. And I guess I’m just not interested in anyone?” She finishes, her voice slightly rising towards the end.

“Are you sure about that one?” Clarke laughs, “you seemed to maybe question yourself towards the end of that sentence.”

“I don’t know.” Lexa grumbles taking another bite of her food to avoid answering any further.

“Oh,” Clarke raises her eyebrows. “Maybe there is someone?” Lexa shrugs avoiding her Clarke's questioning eyes. “Well she would be stupid to pass you up.” She pauses for a moment and then adds an after thought. “I mean You’re pretty incredible.”

Before Lexa could rebuttal Clarke’s statement their waitress walks up to their table and asks them if they wanted anything else to drink or anything for dessert. Clarke takes a quick look at the time on her phone before looking back up to the waitress. “Actually, just the check please.”  She smiles politely at the waitress, who nods and turns to walk away.

“Clarke Griffin doesn’t want dessert?” Lexa feigns shock bringing her hand to her chest.

“Clarke Griffin ALWAYS wants dessert! And I bet the dessert here would be heaven in my mouth. But, we have somewhere else to be,” she explains.

“Bars are open all night Clarke,” Lexa smirks. “I think we can make time for some dessert.”

“Well we aren’t going to a bar.” Clarke says giving Lexa her famous smirk right back to her and grabbing the check from the server when she makes it back to the table. Lexa reaches for her wallet but Clarke is already prepared and has snuck her credit card out and back into the server's hand. “Thank you.” Clarke smiles to the server who walks away before Lexa can fight Clarke on splitting the bill.

“Clarke,” she whined tilting her head to the side. “I would have paid, or at least split the bill with you.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve got this. Besides it’s our first date after all.” Clarke gives her yet another flirty wink and Lexa counts three. That was three winks in one night and she starts to wonder if she is imagining it or if Clarke really is flirting with Lexa just a little bit. She shakes her head but can’t help the smile that appears thanks to her thoughts.

“Fine, thank you Clarke.” She brings her glass of wine up to her mouth and takes the last sip. “So where are we going if not to the bar?” She asks Clarke who is still grinning from ear to ear.

“That is a surprise.” Clarke notes as she stands from her chair. “But, we do have to go or we are going to be late.” She grabs her bag and throws it over her shoulder before reaching her hand out for Lexa to take. Cautiously, Lexa takes it and lets her pull her out of her chair and through the restaurant, smiling at the fact the Clarke doesn’t drop her hand until they reach the car.

“Can I have a clue?” Lexa asks as Clarke drives them to their next location.

“Um...” Lexa watches as Clarke bites her bottom lip in thought. “Okay.” She decides but doesn’t say anything else.

“Okaaay…?” Lexa says to coax the clue out of her best friend.

“You’re going to love it. “ Clarke smiles innocently.

“Clarke! That is not a clue.” The brunette complains.

“Okay real clue… it involves music.” Clarke laughs when she glances at Lexa and sees that her eyebrows are furrowed as she thinks.

“A concert?” Lexa asks.

“No,” Clarke shakes her head and Lexa sighs dejectedly.

“You know I hate surprises.”

“Relax, we're almost there.” Clarke laughs and takes the next turn.

A few minutes later Clarke turns onto the final street and Lexa shoots her hand out to grab her arm realizing where Clarke is taking them when the theater comes into view. Clarke laughs and continues a little ways down the street to a small parking lot.

“Clarke...you got Phantom of the Opera tickets for us?”

“I did, I know it’s your favorite.” The blonde beams. “They are from one of the doctors I work with who couldn’t go to the show so we got his box seats. We just have to get them at will call.”

“This is the best date I’ve ever been on.” Lexa spits out excitedly.   


~*~

 

The drive back to the house was filled almost entirely with Lexa’s continuous thanks to Clarke for their night out and how much she enjoyed and loved the show. She would admit that at times she’d start to feel a little insecure about blabbering on about her favorite parts but Clarke always chimed in at the right moment and reassured her that she liked hearing about the show. Every now and then Clarke would even add in something that she really liked too.

“Seriously Clarke, I can’t thank you enough. Tonight was a lot of fun.” Lexa beamed as she stepped out of the car. Her gaze darts towards the second floor and the light that is on in the spare room that Abby is staying in.  She laughs when she notices Abby not so subtly watching them from the window. “Don’t look but your mom is definitely creeping on us out the window.” She shakes her head when Clarke doesn’t listen and lets her eyes take a quick glance up. “I feel like I’m in high school dropping you off back at your parents house after a Friday night date.” Lexa chuckles and notices the mischievous smirk that comes across Clarke’s face.

“Kiss me.” She tells Lexa reaching out and grabbing her waist, slowly pulling her closer to her. “Like, really kiss me.” She clarifies and Lexa feels her stomach drop.

“Wh-what?” Lexa manages to squeak out as Clarke leans in further towards her.  

“Lexa, just kiss me.” Clarke whispers, this time her focus moving between Lexa’s lips and her soft green eyes.

Lexa swallows the lump in her throat as she nods and slowly moves to close the distance between the two of them. She hesitates for one final second, her heart feeling as though it would beat right through her chest, exposing every feeling she’s been keeping hidden right along with it. This is a moment she has dreamt about. Thought about for as long as she can remember and although it’s not quite like how she’s imagined it, she still feels terribly nervous and determined for it to be perfect. She watches as Clarke’s eyes flutter closed just before her own and then she connects their lips. Clarke’s lips are soft and move slowly against her own, allowing Lexa to control everything. When she feels the hands on her hips tighten their grip and pull her impossibly closer, she brings her own hands up to the blonde’s face, resting her palms just under her ears, her fingers wrapping around to the back of her neck. Lexa runs her tongue along Clarke’s lips that part in response. She slowly backs them into the car and deepens the kiss. She hears a slight gasp from Clarke which only inspires Lexa to take the kiss another step further. What once started out as soft and slow turns into something desperate and passionate. Both girls forgetting about Abby, who has already turned away, and instead allow themselves to get completely lost within each other. Lexa feels the grip on her hips loosen and instead she feels Clarke’s hand travel up underneath her shirt, resting on her lower back still pulling her closer.  A small moan escapes from Lexa when Clarke takes her bottom lip between her own and bites down gently before releasing. Embarrassed and breathless, Lexa takes a step back and breaks away from Clarke.

“I’m sorry, I--” Lexa starts, feeling as if she took the kiss too far. but Clarke shakes her head and stops her.

“No, don’t apologize. “ Clarke blushes, “That-- I mean I--” She stops and Lexa watches as she runs her fingers over her swollen lips. “Let’s just go inside.” She smiles, unable to finish whatever thought she was trying to get out only a second ago. Lexa nods and allows Clarke to take her hand and lead her into the quiet house. Behind her Lexa can't wipe the smile off of her lips. Her own fingers grazing over where Clarke's lips had just been and her mind replaying it over and over. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! Please let me know what your thoughts and feelings are!
> 
> And as always you can find me on Tumblr at @writtenletterstoyou


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey. So I know it has been a quite a while and I apologize! But I hope you can all forgive me and I hope you enjoy this final Chapter. 
> 
> As always please excuse any and all grammar and spelling errors.

Lexa notices right away that something is off with Clarke. They spend the next hour quietly sitting together in the living room and watching reruns on the TV.  Whenever Lexa glances over at Clarke she’s biting at her nails and her brows are furrowed, creating a few wrinkles over her forehead. When she notices Lexa staring at her she turns and gives her a small smile before turning her attention back to the TV, or more likely whatever thoughts are causing those cute little crinkles in her forehead. Lexa can’t help but feel anxious about the kiss in front of her house. She can’t help but think she took things too far and now Clarke was going to be uncomfortable around her. She hears a drawn out yawn from the girl running through her own mind and turns to see her now leaning forwards to grab the remote off the coffee table. 

“You ready for bed, I’m beat.” Clarke confesses, shutting off the TV and standing from the couch.

“Yeah, right behind you.” Lexa stands to follow Clarke up to her room. She’s quiet again as they both get ready to go to sleep and she mostly keeps to herself which is unlike the routine they’d created in the past few weeks while Lexa has been staying over. When Clarke gets into bed Lexa heads into the bathroom to take her contacts out, brush her teeth and wash her face. Once she is finished she comes back out, a smile breaking free as Clarke lifts the comforter for her to join. 

“Thank you for tonight, I really had so much fun.” Lexa whispers once she is snuggled underneath the blankets.

Clarke yawns again and nods her head in agreement. “Me too.” There is a few minutes of silence that pass before Lexa breaks it.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asks turning to her side to look at Clarke, whose closed eyes open to stare back towards Lexa. 

“Yeah, just exhausted.” Clarke answers but Lexa doesn’t believe her. “Lexa, I’m fine. I promise.” She whispers sincerely and grabs Lexa’s hand to hold before she closes her eyes. “Go to sleep.” She says and Lexa nods, letting it go for now and closing her own eyes. 

She lays there for quite sometime unsure if she’d fallen asleep for a short while and just woke up or if she had just been lying there with her eyes closed for the time that had passed.  Her mind is flooded with thoughts of the girl lying beside her. Listening closely she can hear the steady breath escaping from Clarke’s lips. She feels their fingers still intertwined but Lexa carefully slips out of the girl’s grip deciding she just needs a minute for herself. She sits up in the bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes before standing to make her way out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen.

She flips on the small light that is over the stove and grabs a glass to fill with water that she sips down greedily before filling it once again. “Fuck,” she sighs to herself turning and leaning against the counter. She holds the glass of water against her chest and stares blankly ahead into the darkness of the house. “What have I gotten myself into.” She mutters to herself. Things were just fine the way they were before all of this. She could manage her feelings for Clarke as she hid them in the back of her mind. But now after these few weeks, and after tonight, Lexa wasn’t sure she could go back to how things were. Go back to pining for her best friend’s touch, for her sweet smiles and her soft lips. “Fuck.” Lexa grumbles again shaking her head and taking one last sip of water and  a deep steadying breath before turning to dump the rest of glass out in the sink, the glass slipping from her hand and falling into the sink with a loud crash. Lexa cringes and waits to see if the noise had woken anyone up but after a few seconds of hearing nothing she settles, shuts the light off and heads back up the stairs. However, when she gets close enough to the nursery she can hear Jake has woken up and has started a soft cry for attention. Lexa opens the door and sneaks into the baby's room, closing the door behind her to keep his subtle cries from waking anyone else in the house.  

“Hey Jakey,” Lexa whispers walking over to the crib and the upset little boy. “Shh, shh. It’s okay buddy.” She picks him up and he instantly sinks himself into her embrace. She rocks him back and forth for a little while rubbing soothing circles over his back. “I don’t have my phone so we are going to have to do this the old fashion way kid.” She chuckles to herself running through songs that she knew by heart. “I’ve got a good one. ” She smiled, “this one makes me think of your momma.” She adds before she starts to hum the tune to herself and then starts softly with the lyrics. “ _ The night we met I knew I needed you so. And If I had the chance I’d never let you go _ .” She sang sweetly, still swaying back and forth for the little boy in her arms. She switches back to humming the next few lines before she hits the chorus and goes back to the words.  _ “ _ _ So won't you, please, be my be my baby. Be my little baby, my one and only baby. Say you'll be my darlin', be my be my baby.”  _ __ She hears the baby's breaths even out and knows if he isn’t already asleep that he is well on his way to be. Still, she stops and whispers to him, “These are my favorite lines coming up next.” She smiles and lets a quick yawn escape her mouth before she continues her singing  _ “ _ _ I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see. For every kiss you give me I'll give you three.”  _ She hums the rest of the song before she places the little boy, who is now sleeping soundly once again back in his crib. Smiling at him she swipes her thumb over his cheek and lets out a small sigh. “You are as sweet as your momma kiddo.” She coo’s to the sleeping baby before turning around and softly closing the door to his nursery.

Lexa quietly makes her way back towards Clarke’s bedroom expecting to slip in unnoticed and hopefully fall asleep. Instead when she turns into the door she freezes in her spot. Her gaze meets Clarke’s tear filled eyes that are only visible in the dark because of the small amount of light coming from the baby monitor that Clarke holds in her hands. Lexa panics as Clarke stands from the bed, baby monitor still in hand.

“Clarke, you're crying. What--” She starts before Clarke cuts her off. 

“You sing to him?” She asks tears still strolling down her cheeks. Lexa blushes at being caught and brings her hand up to her neck nervously.

“I went for a glass of water and I think I woke him up when I accidentally dropped the glass and that’s what we do… I mean that’s how I get him to go to sleep. We sing our favorite songs. Well I do all the singing and their my favorite songs I guess… but it’s our thing. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” Lexa rambles nervously as Clarke approaches her.

“You sing your crappy music to my baby to help him sleep?” Clarke asks again, now smiling through the tears.

“I won’t any more, I don’t want to make you upset or uncomfortable.” 

Clarke laughs and throws the baby monitor onto her bed. “Lexa,” she laughs. “I’m not upset. And hearing you sing to him makes me feel a lot of things but uncomfortable is not one of them.” The blonde assures her, intertwining their hands. “Very much the opposite in fact. These-” Clarke adds pointing to her teary eyes. “-are my mom tears...tears of a completely warm and melty mom heart.” She laughs as she explains to Lexa who still hasn’t relaxed. “Okay?” Clarke asks to make sure Lexa gets that she is not uncomfortable. Lexa nods her head but still has another question that has been ringing through her head. 

“Did our kiss, in front of the house…” She stops and moves her eyes away from Clarke’s own gaze. “Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

“What? Lexa, no. Not even a little bit.” Clarke assures her.

“You just got really quiet afterwards and I don’t think--”

“Lexa stop, I promise It didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just... I didn’t realize… I mean…” Lexa watches as Clarke tries to put together the words that she wants to say. “I think it’s…” She huffs in frustration and wipes the few tears that still lay over her cheeks away. “Can I just…” Clarke starts and moves in closer to Lexa. Lexa watches as Clarke takes her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darting down towards Lexa’s lips quickly before moving back up her face. “I’m going to just…” She whispers inches away from Lexa’s face before she closes all distance between them kissing Lexa. 

Taken off guard Lexa lets a small gasp escape from her mouth. Her shoulders rise as Clarke’s hand cups the back of her neck. Clarke moves slowly and softly giving Lexa the chance to pull away and break the kiss if she wants to. Instead Lexa relaxes into it, moving her own hands up to cradle Clarke’s face. They move almost hesitantly still unsure of themselves and what exactly is taking place and when Clarke moves back just slightly Lexa follows her not wanting the kiss to end just yet. When she does break apart from Clarke she looks into her eyes trying to find any sign of regret in the blonde’s eyes but there is none. Clarke leans back into Lexa, resting their foreheads together, their noses brushing just slightly.

“Lexa--”

“I’m in love with you,” Lexa whimpers closing her eyes as soon as she lets the words slip out. She feels Clarke take a step back from her and her heart instantly breaks. 

“You…” Clarke starts to speak but now that Lexa has let it slip she finds she has to let it all out, all of the feelings she has hidden for quite some time now. 

“I...I have been for as long as I can remember and I’m sorry. I thought I could keep these feelings in check and just be your best friend. And it was all fine, but these past few weeks.” She stops to take a breath and a moment to compose herself. She looks back at Clarke who watches her carefully and feels herself breaking. “Pretending to just pretend that I love you... God, it’s been slowly killing me Clarke.” She stops for another second trying to keep the tears from falling but fails.

“Lexa, why--”Clarke tries to cut in but is interrupted again.

“Getting a glimpse of what it could be like, and kissing you the way you asked me to earlier...it’s everything I wanted and...fuck. Clarke I’m so sorry.” She can’t help the sob the escapes her mouth and covers her face with her hand. Her whole body shakes and she can feel her heart getting ready to tear out of her chest.  It’s not long before she feels Clarke come up to her and move her hand away from her eyes. She tries to take in a steady breath to calm herself but can’t seem to catch it. When she feels Clarke’s fingers wipe the tears that stain her cheeks she can’t help the new ones that follow. 

“Lexa,” Clarke smiles. “ Lexa, please breathe.” She whispers and Lexa tries. 

“Clarke please don’t--”

“Shh,” Clarke smiles and gives Lexa a few more seconds to calm her breathing before leaning back into her close enough that their noses brush again.

“Clarke?” Lexa whimpers softly just before Clarke closes the small distance between their lips. Lexa’s lip trembles as Clarke kisses her. The blonde's hands move to wrap around her waist and pull her as close as possible causing Lexa to melt against her and sink into Clarke’s lip fully. Their kiss heats up quickly and it doesn’t take long for it to match the intensity they had reached earlier outside. She feels Clarke slowly turning them and guide them towards the bed. Once Lexa feels the bed behind her she sinks down slowly pulling Clarke with her.  Clarke’s lips never leave hers as she straddles Lexa’s lap and deepens their kiss even further. Lexa feels like her body is on fire and when she feels Clarke’s hips grind down against her she lets out the softest moan. Her hands move towards Clarke’s hips and urge the blonde to keep moving before they slip under her shirt. When she hears the breathy moans escaping from the girl on top of her, she wraps her arms tighter around her, pulling her impossible closer. When Clarke pulls away from the kiss, Lexa once again chases after her before allowing the kiss to end. They stare breathless for a few seconds before Clarke moves her hands to cradle Lexa’s cheeks. Lexa closes her eyes as she feels Clarke’s thumbs wipe away that last of the tears that had settled there. She feels Clarke lean forward again leaving soft kisses on each cheek and then again on her lips. She feels Clarke slowly move along her jawline leaving warm kisses all the way across until she reaches her ear.

“Show me,” Clarke whispers in her ear and Lexa’s skin tingles. “Show me how you feel.” She says softly before moving back to Lexa’s lips and allowing Lexa to kiss her passionately. Lexa slips her hands under Clarke’s shirt and slowly glides them up her sides, taking the shirt with them. Clarke’s hands raise and her lips leave Lexa’s only long enough for her to throw the shirt to the side. Once their lips reconnect Lexa flips them around so that Clarke is lying underneath her. She moves her attention away from the other girl’s lips and down to her neck. She can feel Clarke’s pulse quicken under her mouth before she moves across the girl’s chest to the other side of her neck. After another moment of taking in Clarke’s skin she moves back and kisses her sweetly.

“Clarke are you sure?” She asks not wanting to push Clarke into something that she doesn’t want or isn’t ready for. Clarke’s hands run through Lexa’s hair before grabbing her face to make sure Lexa was looking right into her eyes.

“Lexa, I promise. I’m sure, just please...” She begs and Lexa’s body feels as if it could combust if she doesn’t keep kissing Clarke. If she doesn’t keep touching Clarke. She nods quickly before Clarke pulls her back down to reconnect their lips. Lexa puts everything she can into that kiss and everyone that follows it. She puts everything she can into every touch to make sure Clarke could feel everything that she made Lexa feel. 

 

~*~

 

The next morning Lexa wakes up to a cool breeze against her bare back. She shivers and turns around in search of the warm body that she spent the previous night with but Clarke was nowhere to be found. Her brows furrow in confusion and she tries to listen to hear if Clarke is in the bathroom but she hears nothing. She sits up and reaches for the shirt that was thrown to the side at some point last night. She smiles at the memory before quickly throwing it back on followed by her shorts. Her head turns towards the doorway when she hears a loud giggle and she can’t help but follow the sweet sound. 

She frowns when she see’s Abby sitting in the living room with Jake in her lap. Clarke nowhere to in sight. When Abby turns around fat the sound of her approach Lexa forces a smile because on the inside she slowly starts to panic.

“Where’s Clarke?” Lexa asks glancing into the kitchen but knowing deep down that Clarke was not home. Clarke had left.

“She had to go into work early I guess, she didn’t really explain.” Abby answers bouncing the giggly boy on her lap. 

“Oh, she isn’t on a weekend rotation this month...I didn’t know she was going in.” Lexa says her throat closing in on her. “Are you okay with him? I’m supposed to meet my sister in a little bit for coffee but if you need…”

“No no, Clarke mentioned you had plans. We are good aren’t we Jakey.” She laughs tickling the little boys belly, completely unaware of the inner turmoil Lexa was going through at the moment.

“Okay,” Lexa starts rubbing the back of her neck. “Okay… um I’m going to go shower.” Abby nods turning her attention fully back to the little boy in her lap and Lexa turns and runs back up the stairs. “Fuck…” She mumbles to herself. “Oh my god. What did I do.” She whispers to herself, convinced that Clarke had thought that sleeping with her last night was a mistake. She checks her phone to see if Clarke left any message but there is nothing. She throws her phone onto the bed and goes to get in the shower. She takes a few steadying breaths. Maybe she was overthinking this. Maybe Clarke got called into the hospital. “She would have told me, texted me.” She whispered to no one, her thoughts accidentally escaping her head. 

Once she is showered, dressed, and ready to meet her sister, she let’s Abby know that she is heading out and then rushes out to her car. Her sister is the only person who has known how she felt about her best friend and if anyone could console her it would be Anya. It didn’t take long to reach the park that she occasionally met her sister in. They always met at the same small coffee truck located next to a bunch of picnic tables and then usually ended up walking the park, coffees in hand while catching up on each other's lives. Lexa parked her car and hurried towards that coffee truck, her mind still racing over the thought of Clarke thinking last night was a mistake and what she was going to do about it. She couldn’t lose Clarke.

When she reached the picnic tables she stopped and froze in her spot. She spotted Anya sitting in the same spot she always finds her sitting, but there across from her, in the spot that she usually occupied was the last person she had expected to see but the one person she couldn’t get out of her mind. Sitting across from Anya was Clarke, her blonde hair tied up in a messy loose bun, and wearing  Lexa’s favorite green hoodie. Anya spots Lexa and shakes her head before nodding towards her sister, causing Clarke to turn around. As soon as she did Lexa could see the smile that took over her face and couldn’t help but let the same thing happen to her. She started to move forward but stopped again when Clarke stands up and practically skips over to her. 

“Hi,” Clarke smiles wrapping herself around Lexa hugging her tightly. It takes Lexa a second or two but she wraps her arms around Clarke too. When Clarke pulls out of their embrace she doesn’t go far at all but instead cups Lexa’s cheeks in the palms of her hands and kisses her right there in the middle of the park. When she breaks away again she frowns. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you woke up this morning, work called me and--”

“I thought you changed your mind, that you regretted last night.” Lexa admits cutting the other girl off and pulling her body closer, dropping her forehead down to meet Clarke’s.

“I’m so sorry Lexa, I know I should have woke you up. You just looked so peaceful and I didn’t think I would be there that long.” Hands still over Lexa’s cheeks she carefully lifts her head so that she can meet her eyes. “I promise you that I don’t regret anything.” She smiles before taking her bottom lip between her teeth. A habit Lexa has noticed more and more of.

“You promise” Lexa smiles and Clarke nods.

“I promise Lex.”

“Can I kiss you again?” Lexa asks her eyes darting back and forth between Clarke’s eyes and her lips.

“You don’t have to ask me Lexa. You can kiss me whenever you--” Before she could even finish Lexa moved closer and kissed the beautiful girl in front of her. She smiles when she feels Clarke’s lips move into their own grin.

“Still sitting over here.” Anya calls out and the two girls break apart, both all smiles.

“I knew you’d be here,” Clarke explains. “It’s so close to the hospital so I thought I’d surprise you. I can leave though. I don’t want to crash your sister date.”

“No stay,” Lexa smiles finally releasing Clarke and instead grabbing her hand and linking their fingers. They walk back over to Anya and sit across from her. Clarke pushes over the coffee that she’d got for Lexa and before Lexa could thank her, Anya speaks up again.

“Okay, so tell me...how’d this happen?” She asks pointing between the two causing them both to blush slightly. “I know Lex has been pining over you for God knows how long... so what finally gave her the balls to speak up and do something about it?” Anya bluntly asks before taking a sip from her own coffee. Lexa rolls her eyes letting out a low groan in embarrassment as Clarke chuckles.

“It’s a bit of story.” Lexa tries but Anya wants more.

“I don’t have anywhere else to be.” She shrugs.

“It’s kinds of my mom’s doing.” Clarke explains and Anya waves her hand to get her to continue. And so Clarke starts from the beginning explaining the way her mom called her worried about her being alone. Lexa smiles and listens as Clarke tells her sister all about their scheme and how the longer it went on the more she didn’t want it to end. Lexa’s ears burn as Clarke explains the past few weeks, leaving out most of the night before and a few other details here or there. She smiles hearing Clarke’s side of things for the first time and blushes when she talks about kissing her. She knows they still have a lot to talk through and she isn’t exactly sure what’s going to happen but she knows that it is all headed in the right direction. She smiles to herself thinking that these past few weeks have definitely not been as easy as they had thought that first night, but they have brought her to this moment right here, and that make everything more than worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! Please let me know what your thoughts and feelings are! I love hearing from you all! 
> 
> And as always you can find me on Tumblr at @writtenletterstoyou


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